A Sanctuary LLC
A Safe Place To Finally Heal From The Trauma TM
Support for survivors of assault and abuse, by providing a place to:
feel safe, feel welcomed, and have access to multiple resources.
Though alone your caring won't lessen our pain,...
...we are grateful, because without it, some of us would die.
Welcome
We offer you information and resources to
help you understand from a Survivor's perspective
In order to do this, there will be lots of information.
For some it will seem like way too much information.
We ask that you at least scan over something that you think is beyond what you need to know, because we put the information there because it important, self-harm being an example.
Many cannot understand why someone would intentionally harm thrmselves and while it doesn't seem that a friend you "know" self-harms, unless they choose to tell you, you don't know.
Besides, even if the person you know doesn't do this, you may meet someone that does.
Please, take the extra time to at least scan over all the information and you will be better suited when a "situation" comes up.
-> I don't think I know any survivors.
But I care and would like to know more.
It is possible that you don't, the point is you care and want to know more.
-> I don't think I'm a survivor, but I'm not sure, OR,
I have a friend that thinks they may have been abused.
Is there a way to really know?
When it comes down to "knowing" if you or perhaps a friend is a survivor, only you,
or they, will "really" know. Although, there are some indicators.
If you believe that a friend was probably was abused, it is not a good idea to tell them so. Instead, you could tell them that you came acress this interesting website and offer to tell them about it, and leave it at that. Anything more could be "dangerous" ground.
If you want to proceed to the indicators, just click here.
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-> I have a friend that has told me some things.
At times I don't know if I should say "I'm sorry",
or if I should give them a hug.
Not knowing what to do when a friend is in pain is a difficult place to be.
Our instincts are to try and comfort them, either through words or actions.As ironic as it may sound, sometimes the survivors themselves are not sure what they want.
Because of this, unless the survivor asks for your thoughts, or for a hug, it is best to just nod.
This may seem callus or mean, but many times they have been either told lies or touched against their will. If your friend is sharing with you about what happened, it is likely that they are in the "victim" mode and because of that, they would probably feel either attacked, or trapped if you were to just walked over and hugged them.
About saying "I'm sorry". Most people in Western cultures have been taught to say "I'm sorry". As if saying those words will console them, or somehow make things better.
It is not recommended that Non-survivors say "I'm sorry" to a survivor. It can bring about a response that is not only vicious, but "laced with poison" as well. Don't be surprised to have them scream "YOU HAVE NO (insert cuss words here) IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE (insert the attack they survived here) SO DON'T EVEN SAY YOU'RE SORRY!!!", may be considered a "gentle" response from their perspective.
Surprised? Life is so different from their viewpoint. Learn how to console them in a way they will appreciate by clicking here.
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Okay, I've read this stuff, but it can't be that bad,
can it?
It's wrong, and it shouldn't have happened,
but for many it happened a long time ago. Just get over it.
It is, that bad. There are horrors so bad, that they are only whispered.
A Sanctuary is
We've been holding back from you.
There are those that have lived lives that have made them more resilient or have seen
things that have helped them to have things that would make most sick (so much that
they might even throw-up). They are typically the police, the firefighters, and emergency
medical technicians.
While advising caution to all others, to those that "can stand"
a bit more, we will show, and tell, a bit more of the truth. If you want to know these
truths that we have faced, if you think it can't be that bad, or perhaps it was so long ago
that the attacks or assaults should have faded from our memories, when you are ready for the
truth, click here.
Resources
Retreat to our
just to help you relax.
A meadow, a forest, a beach,
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National Crisis 24hr Hot-lines (USA only)
Rape, Abuse,
and Incest
Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (RAINN)
1-800-656-HOPE 1-800-656-(4673),
they really do care.
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Suicide Prevention
Any crisis that makes you think of suicide1-800-suicide
1-800-(784-2433)
OR
1-800-273-talk
1-800-273-(8255)
Click for your State's
list of local hot-lines
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Self-Harm Prevention
1-800-DONTCUT
1-800-(366-8288)
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International Hot-lines
We are looking for world-wide Suicide / Crisis Hotlines and will post them here as they
become available.
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Crisis Web-links
Self-Harm Prevention
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Your Sanctuary
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If you choose an outside
